I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
