why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
