but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
