Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
