You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
