dude i'm inner monologue high
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
