i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
