'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
