It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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