I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
