What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize