I hate all girls vehemently.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
