If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
