I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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