What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize