so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
