we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
