The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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