So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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