matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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