I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
