coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
