Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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