They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
