Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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