Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
