Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
