Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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