The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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