I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
