I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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