Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
