I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
