We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
