wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
