Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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