Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
