I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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