i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
