Christians are straight up FREAKS
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
