I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
