perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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