Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
