Can i not drive my cunt home
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
