You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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