i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
