Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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