she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
