this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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