Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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