id be glad to
Buhtt sex?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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