I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
