I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
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Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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