I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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