Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
