He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
