It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
