you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
