can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
as a side note pls kill me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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