The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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