I just pynch a tree in the face
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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