I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
